8/30/09

For the most part, I feel I have a good grasp on grammar within my writing and there are few specific aspects I need to work on this semester. I do have some stylistic issues that I should work on though. I tend to write very phonetically and use some strange comma usage here and there and sometimes write sentences with strange structure that, although sensical, can lead to confusion.
As examples from one of my literary studies classes: “They both absolutely transform the view of sugar cane production through their artistic literary styling but for what aim and ultimate effect we see a much different approach to the same goal.”
“Prospero shows, although it is subtle it amazingly similar, the nature of colonialism in context of its effect and reliance on native people.”
In these examples, my writing has meaning and makes sense upon close reading but was marked as having “confusing syntax” by my professor which is not a statement that I entirely disagree with. I think it may be beneficial for me to try and organize my thoughts better within my writing.
Other issues for my writing happen along those same lines with run-on sentences and too much sentence splicing. For technical writing, I may need to think of how to put my points and meanings into multiple sentences and paragraphs rather than running along a train of thought and markedly changing my focus sentence to sentence. I should at least revise to create a better focus and coherence within my works.
“The trunks of the trees too were dusty and the leaves fell early that year and we saw the tropps marching along the road and the dust rising and leaves, stirred by the breeze, falling and the soldiers marching and afterward the road bare and white except for the leaves.” When I first read this line I didn’t even notice the running sentence and the massive amounts of the word “and” being used. In a way, the way I read reflects on the way I write. That was a quote from Ernest Hemingway in A Farewell to Arms. I remember thinking it was a very beautiful way to start a book and only saw the stylistic errors--in a sense--after it was pointed out to me by a friend with a more technically focused and less artistic eye.
So, for now, I think my best focus should be on creating tighter and more structured sentences that maintain a linear frame of thought rather than bouncing through many different thoughts, adding more and more commas as I go.